Do Overs

First thing, let’s get out of the way; I’m guilty of all the things that I’m expressing my displeasure with.

The whole passive aggressive thing is so ugly and how I wish I didn’t care if someone was upset with me but to shun someone then have them trying to play the game of figuring out what had been said or done for the shunning is pretty silly. Maybe it should become a board game or a party game called The Shunning.

I have a horse named Mickey, and while putting his fly sheet on, he nipped me in the leg. Surprised and shocked in his action, I found myself ignoring Mickey and paying more attention to the other horse and not giving him my usual amount of attention. The reality of the situation is that Mickey was trying to tell me something was wrong. He is not an aggressive horse , but he was telling me I needed to look harder at what was going on with him. Instead I found myself being self-absorbed and hurt. Mickey had no clue why I was not giving him the attention I do daily. I thought, how messed up I’m I? I want this animal that can’t speak to feel bad about trying to communicate with me, and all I’m doing is feeling sorry for myself and perpetuating it all.

Appropriately communicating about being hurt or disappointed seems to be a monumental task for myself and others. It manifests itself in some stupid, silly and scary behaviors. The majority of times its absolutely nothing and when it is something we have no tools to communicate besides not to communicate. How messed up is that ?

“Keep it simple stupid ” true words that should be followed about not over thinking feelings.

Amazing at 66 years old I can still act like a teenager but have expectations of others to be adults, and then be disappointed.